he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
