I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
