haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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