accomplished twins. life is a go
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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