Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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