apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
