So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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