There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
