Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
