I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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