I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
