yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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