i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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