I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
