a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
