I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
