So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
