Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Someone came in the potted fern
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
