i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Slut skills are useful in every country.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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