What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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