do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
