i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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