what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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