God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
