I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
