Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
