Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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