remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
