IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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