so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
