she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
