After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
