drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
not ubering you a puppy
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
he high fived his dick after we had sex
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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