You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
