me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
