Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

My sheets look like a crime scene.

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(845): View more from New York

Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER

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(518): View more from New York

are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.

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(813): View more from Florida

yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing

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(815): View more from Illinois

Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.

(815): View more from Illinois

Grandpa would have been proud

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.

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(419): View more from Ohio

That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He stood me up.

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.

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