I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
