she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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