But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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