We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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