Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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