Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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