absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
