so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
