Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
