Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
