hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
