I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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