she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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