Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
